Get the compassion & support you deserve from someone who’s been there.

I know what it’s like to end a wanted pregnancy because I ended mine with my son, Frankie.

After he died, I felt a pull toward this work, channeling my personal experience & my professional training to be the support for others that I needed through my own loss.

Allow me to introduce myself.

What’s the deal with “Both/And” in your practice name?

White ampersand with black shadow on light teal background. Logo for Both/And Therapy, PLLC.

Great question & loving your curiosity!

When I was in graduate school, I had a professor who shared that she was working to remove “but” from her everyday vocabulary. She realized that “but” wasn’t often actually what she meant. She meant “and.”

Consider how different this phrase sounds just swapping out this one word: “I love you, but _____,” vs. “I love you and _____.” What do you notice?

The word “but” undoes what comes before it. The word “and” makes space for two or more things to exist at once, even if they seem at first glance to be mutually exclusive. “And” makes room for complexity & truth. “And” allows for an open & accepting heart.

Life is all about more than one thing being true at once. Life is all about living in the grey. And as challenging or uncomfortable as it can be, when we let go of “either/or” thinking in favor of “both/and” thinking, we open up possibilities for deeper, more meaningful, & truly human experiences.

As much as I loved this idea in graduate school, I found myself gravitating back to it more & more after my TFMR (termination for medical reasons). I needed “and” to help me understand the complexity of my experience. Here are some examples of how important the word “and” can be in making sense of a TFMR experience:

  • You love your baby/ies & you ended your pregnancy/ies.

  • You had to overcome considerable legal/logistical barriers to care & you have done nothing wrong/bad.

  • Your baby’s life matters & your life matters.

  • You did the best you could with the information you had at the time & there may be things you would do differently if you could go back knowing what you know now.

  • People think you made a choice & it felt like you had no choice.

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