If you have ended a wanted pregnancy, you are welcome & deserving of compassion, healing, & community.
What is Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR)?
Termination for medical reasons (TFMR) is ending a wanted pregnancy due to the health of the pregnant person &/or baby/ies, including fatal, non-fatal, “grey,” spectrum, & mental health diagnoses.
All of these are complex & unique situations ending in the devastating loss of a much loved baby & future. TFMR parents feel much of the same pain & silencing that other pregnancy & infant loss parents do. You may also feel additional layers of shame, fear, & judgment due to the politicized nature of the loss, the idea that you had to make a “choice,” & the lack of safe & supportive communities & resources available.
Healing is not out of reach.
If you want to learn to carry your grief & adjust to your “new normal,” I’d love to help you get there. You don’t have to suffer & you don’t have to go through this alone.
I help TFMR parents grieve, heal, & thrive without judgment.
My clients struggle as you do. Despite being loving, intelligent, & thoughtful people, life is hard & terribly unfair.
When they first come in, they are racked with guilt & shame over their baby's death (even if they believe they made the best possible "choice" they could, under the circumstances). They aren't sure if they're even allowed to grieve, to call themselves parents, or to receive support.
They are terrified of being judged or villainized by others in their grief, whether from trolls on the internet, their government, or their own friends or family members. They don't know if or to whom they can share the whole, unvarnished truth of their experience.
They worry that they will never feel joy or happiness again. And if they do, they worry they'll be forgetting their babies who died.
Their grief & shame push out & obscure any sense of a hopeful future. They aren't the fun, capable, & optimistic people they once were. They feel like they're failing at or undeserving of parenthood. And their confidence that things could ever feel better than this is tanking.
Before they came to see me, they feared that life would never again feel manageable or like it was before. They worried they were the only ones in the world (or at least in Texas) who had ever been through this kind of loss. And they were pretty certain nowhere would feel like a safe, supportive, & understanding space to share their story. The shame, fear, & grief were drowning them.
Like my clients, you deserve to honor & share the baby/ies you've lost without fear.
About Me
Jane Armstrong, LCSW-S, PMH-C (she/her)
Founder & Therapist
Jane is a TFMR mom, native Texan, & clinical social worker certified in perinatal mental health. Following the birth & death of her first child, Frankie, through TFMR, Jane opened Both/And Therapy, PLLC to provide individual therapy & support groups to other TFMR parents. These services aim to support you through the unique barriers & grief of ending a wanted pregnancy, particularly in the state of Texas where such care is no longer accessible. She’s passionate about building community, eliminating shame, & honoring grief for TFMR families.
